Afraid New World (Part 11)
JC looked in the mirror and frowned.
No, this was not right. Too much of his hair was in his eyes. He couldn’t see and he looked shaggy. He pushed some of it back behind his ears and looked at himself critically.
Better.
Now if his hair would only stay. He ran his fingers through the length of it, marveling at how long it had gotten. It was starting to reach down past his shoulders, the curls from his last perm mostly gone now, leaving it looking slightly wavy and disheveled.
He brushed another lock of it out of his eyes and then stopped abruptly. God, he was primping. He was actually primping. He laughed self-consciously and shook his head, turning away from the mirror.
As much as he hated to admit it, these days he found himself wanting to look good for the Emperor. He didn’t do it because he received any pleasure from it – like one would receive pleasure from looking good for a lover. No, he did it because it was part of the game. The "you scratch my back and I scratch yours" game that he was forced to play. And the rules were simple - as long as he kept the Emperor happy, then the Emperor did things for him that made him happy – things like finding him another notebook for his songs. Or, to a certain extent, things like what was happening tonight.
Tonight would be the fourth time that he was allowed to leave the Emperor’s rooms and accompany the demon on one of his functions. JC didn’t even really mind that most of his evening would be spent being either stared at or pawed at by the other demons. The Emperor always made sure that things didn’t get out of hand and that he wasn’t hurt.
JC wasn’t proud of playing the game, nor was he proud of what he felt he was becoming, but he had accepted the fact that this was his life now and he tried to make the most of what he was given.
He glanced down at the clothes he was wearing and smoothed them out, fussing with them much as he had done with his hair. They were all black, of course. He was wearing all black because the Emperor liked him in dark clothing.
God, how he hated black.
Just then he heard the creak of the door and he dropped down to his knees without a second thought. He bowed his head, stared down at the floor and waited. He could only hope that the Emperor would be pleased with his appearance, and yet he was fairly certain that he would be. He knew by now exactly what the demon liked and didn’t like.
As soon as he heard the footsteps in the room, JC knew that the Emperor was not alone. He was curious to see who else was in the room with them, but he didn’t dare lift his head without being given permission to.
So he waited.
He didn’t have to wait long.
"Get up pet," the Emperor commanded.
JC detected a hint of tiredness in the demon’s voice. He frowned and stood up easily, wondering if something was wrong.
His eyes wandered over to the demon that stood behind his master. Yes, something was wrong. The fact that the Emperor had brought someone else in here with him was an indication of that -the Emperor hated to share. But it was also evident in the manner in which the Emperor held himself…in the grim lines of his face. The demon walked over to JC and stroked his face in what seemed a loving gesture, and then he ran this hand through his hair. JC leaned into the touch out of pure instinct.
"You look so beautiful, pet. You make yourself so beautiful for me."
"I try, master," JC responded.
"And you were really looking forward to this tonight, weren’t you?"
JC nodded. Why lie? "Yes, I was," he responded.
"Yes…you were," the Emperor said somewhat wistfully. "Unfortunately, our plans have been cancelled. We will not be going tonight."
JC tried to keep his face impassive, but a flicker of disappointment passed over it regardless. He looked down, hoping that the Emperor hadn’t caught it. The Emperor continued to speak. "The humans in the south are creating much trouble for us. They are rebelling…out of control…wild. I must tend to this problem myself. I will be leaving immediately and do not know how long I will be gone."
JC’s mind whirled. Rebels? Humans who fought back? "I understand, master," he managed to say evenly.
"Yes, you do, don’t you pet? But you are still a little disappointed, aren’t you? I can see it in your eyes."
Ah, so the Emperor had noticed after all. Again, JC saw no point denying the truth. "A little, master, yes."
The Emperor laughed and then turned around to address the demon behind him. "Do you see what a wonderful slave he is?"
"Yes. You chose well," the other demon answered dutifully.
The Emperor turned back to JC and pulled him close. Then he kissed him. The kiss was lingering and soft and JC mechanically held still for it. Finally, the demon broke contact and leaned back. JC inhaled deeply and greedily of the air around him. He always felt so damn breathless after the Emperor kissed him, as if the demon was stealing the very oxygen from his lungs.
"I know that you hate being cooped up in these rooms and I know that you were looking forward to tonight, if only to get out of here," the Emperor said.
JC’s eyes widened in surprise. Was he that easy to read?
"And because you have been pleasing me much lately, I will grant you this. You may leave the rooms while I’m gone and you may explore this floor of the palace. But only this floor. Do not go upstairs and do not venture outside. If you do so, I will know and I will be very angry. This is my gift to you, so use it wisely."
A small smile formed on JC’s lips. "I will, master. Thank you."
The Emperor said, "I know you will, pet," before turning his head and addressing the demon that stood so quietly in the background. "We must go."
"Of course," the other demon said.
The two creatures began to walk towards the door, the Emperor in the lead. When they reached it, the Emperor stopped and turned towards JC.
"You will not have to worry about food and water while I’m gone. You will be taken care of," he told him.
"Thank you, master, " JC said humbly.
"Do not disappoint me."
"I won’t. Master."
The Emperor nodded and then left the room, the other demon close behind him. JC waited patiently until he was certain that they were gone and then he let out a little squeal of delight.
THIS is what he had been waiting for…a taste of freedom. And even though it was just a small taste of it, he knew that it would be sweet.
God, he couldn’t wait to get out of here. Should he go now? No, he should at least wait until the Emperor was out of the palace. He would have to exercise a little patience and give it some time.
But it was going to be so hard to wait. Just the thought of getting out of these rooms was enough to send his pulse racing. To get out…and just maybe see Chris or Lance….
Inadvertently thinking about his friends caused JC’s heart to clench painfully. He was always consciously trying NOT to think about them, just like he tried not to think about his family, because thoughts of them were simply too difficult to deal with. He could handle playing the game and debasing himself in order to be allowed to live. What he couldn’t handle was thinking that the people he cared about were being put through the same torture.
The sheer joy he had felt just moments ago crumbled away like so much dust. He wandered over to the bed and let himself fall down on it bonelessly. Then he curled into himself and cried.
Not much though.
He only let himself cry a little. Just enough to release some of the sadness that had wormed its way into his heart. He knew better than to let himself give in to his emotions entirely. He had done that once, near the beginning, and hadn’t been able to stop crying for three days. The Emperor finally had to sedate him to get him to stop.
So through sheer force of will, he sat up and wiped the tears away from his face. Then he stood up and walked over to the dresser where he kept his new notebook. He pulled it out and opened it, hoping that concentrating on his music would take his mind off the things that were hurting him.
And it did work, just as it always did - like magic. He was able to lose himself in worlds of music and melodies and words and by the time he lifted his head from the book and set his pen down, he felt more at peace and he knew that a significant amount of time had passed.
He stood up and stretched, relishing the sensation of muscles and joints extending. Then he looked over at the door and felt a tingle of excitement run through him.
It was time.
He walked over to the door and reached out for it. His hand trembled in mid-air while his heart fluttered wildly in his chest.
"JC, you’re acting like a little kid," he told himself aloud. His voice seemed deafening in the stillness of the empty room and he had to laugh at himself a little. Yes, maybe he was acting a little like an over-excited child, but so what?
Shouldn’t he be allowed to?
He took a deep breath and then opened the door and stepped outside in one quick motion.
The first thing he noticed was the general feel of the palace. It was as if he had transcended time and space and landed inside a medieval castle. He could see dark, winding corridors branching off from the one he stood in. He saw flickering torches set the corridor walls, the walls themselves made up of huge blocks of gray stone.
He glanced down the corridor to the left of him and felt a wave of giddiness rush through his body. It was so strong that for a brief moment he felt dizzy and he had to lean against the wall behind him for support. The feeling soon passed however, and he stood up straight, took a long look around, and then set off to explore.
As he walked he passed by many demons with their heads held high, body armor gleaming in the dim light. He passed humans with their heads bowed; fear and weariness radiating off of their bodies in waves so intense, that JC felt burned by their emotions. He continued to walk, feeling both repulsed and curious about what he was seeing.
No one spoke to him or scarce took notice of him at all, and that suited JC just fine. He wanted to be as invisible as possible, nothing more than a silent observer amidst the halls in which he roamed.
When he came to a staircase that obviously led up to the next floor of the palace, he studiously avoided it as if it were drenched with the plague. He did the same thing whenever he came upon a window or a door. He didn’t even want to be tempted to break the Emperor’s rules. He covered a lot ground and saw many human beings, and yet he did not at any time glimpse either Chris or Lance. He was disappointed, although he knew he shouldn’t be. The chances of seeing them were slim at best, especially among what he now understood was the very large populace of the castle.
And yet he had held out hope.
And hope had been crushed.
He wasn’t sure how long he had been exploring (a couple of hours at least) when he realized that his legs were starting to hurt. He wasn’t surprised. He got absolutely no exercise anymore except for…when he and the Emperor…well… His mind quickly turned away from that thought. Better to say that he got no exercise at all.
He decided it was time to head back to the Emperor’s rooms when the muscles in his legs started to cramp. He bent down and massaged his calves until his muscles stopped contracting, then he stood up and began to re-trace his steps.
After a few minutes he stopped moving and looked around in puzzlement. So much of this castle looked the same that he wasn’t really sure where he was anymore. He looked behind him, then in front of him again. Damn, he should have brought breadcrumbs.
He mumbled, "hindsight," then continued walking, keeping his eyes open for anything that looked familiar. Now impatient to get back to the room, he began to walk faster and faster. As he hurried through the castle, he turned a corner much too quickly and ran headlong into a demon. He stumbled backwards, but managed to stay upright.
He looked up into the demon’s face. "I’m so sorry, sir," he said quickly.
"Clumsy human!" the demon said angrily. He brushed at his clothes as if JC had gotten them dirty with his touch. Then the demon looked up and all traces of anger fled from his face instantly. "I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here. Are you new, boy?" he asked with obvious interest.
JC shook his head. "No sir, I’m not. I’ve just never really been out. I’m so sorry if I hurt you."
"Forget about that. I have."
"Ok…" JC said hesitantly. He waited a moment, then took a step forward. "Well, I really should be getting back now."
The demon stopped him with by placing his clawed hand against JC’s shoulder. "You don’t have to go so soon, do you?"
Uh oh.
JC swallowed hard and managed to say, "Yes sir. I do," in a relatively steady tone.
"No, you don’t," the demon countered. And then JC was being pushed against the corridor wall; his back impacting roughly with the unyielding stone.
"Sir, please…don’t," JC pleaded.
"Quiet," the demon said gruffly, before planting a hard kiss on JC’s mouth.
JC turned his head away and whispered, "Please". His hands were flat against the demon’s chest, but he didn’t dare try to push him away.
"I said be quiet!" the demon growled. JC held his breath and closed his eyes. The demon’s lips were again on his own, his thick tongue demanding entrance into his mouth. JC knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop what was happening, so he parted his lips and let his hands drop, giving up completely.
The demon’s hands were roaming over his body now, his breathing hot and heavy. JC cringed. Was he going to fuck him right here and now, in front of anybody who might walk by?
The demon broke the kiss and moving his mouth to JC’s jawline, alternated between bestowing kisses and small bites on his skin. He continued to move down until he was nipping and nuzzling at JC’s tender throat.
JC’s stomach recoiled at the intimate touches and kisses, but he breathed in deeply to steady himself and prepared for the worst.
Then, without any warning, the demon pulled away from JC with a hiss.
JC opened his eyes in surprise and brought a hand up to his neck, wondering what was wrong.
The demon pointed at him. "You!" he said accusingly.
"What?" JC asked breathlessly.
"You have the mark. Why didn’t you say anything?"
JC looked at him dumbly, not understanding. "Mark?"
"The mark of the Emperor. You belong to him. Why didn’t you tell me?"
JC rubbed the side of his neck, and felt the scar from the brand under his fingertips. "I…I don’t…"
The demon edged closer to him again. "You mustn’t tell him. Please. I would never have touched you if I had known."
JC was so stunned by the demon’s use of the word "please" that he almost didn’t notice that a response was expected. He managed to spit out, "I won’t. I won’t say anything."
"You swear to it?" the demon asked urgently.
"Yes. I swear. I won’t say anything."
The demon backed away suddenly and nodded brusquely. "Yes, well…all right then. Thank you." Then he turned and walked away as if he could no longer stand to be next to JC.
JC, still lost in shock from the encounter, could only stare at his retreating back.
The mark of the Emperor…he had almost forgotten about it. His long hair hid it now, and he never looked at it purposely…so of course he had forgotten it. But now…God, that demon was begging him for forgiveness…
Apparently, he was protected. At least in some way.
JC shook his head. It was all so strange. So strange…and yet…so…interesting.
He touched the mark one final time and then, pushing himself away from the cold wall, turned back to try to find what now passed for his home.